Voicemail

[begmetwice]

"Hello, you've reached the voicemail of Irene Adler. I'm not sure why you've called instead of texted, but by all means, if texting instead might be an option, I'll certainly get back to you all the faster.

Otherwise, you know what to do."

Comments

[special_rabbit]

At some point, early Christmas morning, a small package would arrive for Irene at apartment. A sleek, pearlescent shape that would fit comfortably in someone's hand was nestled inside, decorated with subtle embellishments of steel and gold. Not so subtle, however, that the little trigger apparatus worked into it wouldn't be noticed. And once that trigger was pulled, it would reveal itself to be the handle of a small switcblade, which would then tuck smoothly and securely back into place, unnoticeable except to the knowing eye.

No time travel feature, though, sorry.

~Phone Day~

[special_rabbit]

There were....several questions Amaya had when she got a text from Margo that day, but she figured the best place to start was probably going to be the most practical and perhaps they could just work from there.

Well, I'm a bit rusty when it comes to motors, especially of the boat variety, but just give me a moment, I'll try to whip something up real quick. How big of a boat are we talking?

Re: ~Phone Day~

[begmetwice]

[ahem.]

Wacky Phone Day

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

Margo sighed. Actually, she'd been a little shitty to a guy who didn't deserve it and probably had the shock of his life.

I'm sorry. I won't send you unsollicited tit pics again. I know it's fucking gauche.

Re: Wacky Phone Day

[begmetwice]

[and we went here and here!]

Phone day.

[hasaknightjob]

(From here)

Steven definitely did not realize who got his message when he left, "Er - sorry? I would never threaten you. I've no reason. And I know we've not chatted in a while but it's not because I find where you work to be shocking. Honestly, I appreciate that you're able to accommodate what I need. Hopefully everything is all right?"

Re: Phone day.

[begmetwice]

[and to here!]

Phone day

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon, curled up on his couch with awful videos, took a while to notice his phone, then made the effort to pick it up.

He frowned at the message, wondering if the Eye had decided to scramble his brain even more.

He sent off a message in reply.

I don't understand. That sounds rather messy and pointless. Why would you want to do anything with a watermelon other than eat it?

[special_rabbit]

Well, now, it seemed that early February 14th was a busy day for deliveries, as Irene would be receiving on at her door, as well.

A simple one, just three red roses, and nothing else. No note, no tag, only what would surely remain the world's greatest mystery, indeed.

[sharp_man]

At some point in the morning, Irene would get a text.

Good morning, Ms Adler. I imagine you're one of the only ones on the island who will appreciate it, so I thought I'd mention that should you need it, I have an excellent tailor for these sorts of days.

[pocketpretzels]

The morning of the 18th, there was a text:

hwo does one tie a corset???

Followed by another, a minute later:

where does one GET a corset????

[begmetwice]

Oh, Watts. You darling little thing, you.

I have corsets. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer something more modern?

Just for comfort's sake.

[pocketpretzels]

wat do u mean??

Women’s underthings were not something he had, well, any level of experience with, really. He’d never given much thought to the fact that they might have changed significantly in the last century.

[begmetwice]

most women nowadays don't wear a corset. we have brassieres - more compact. I can bring some things by?

Though, while she was thinking --

have you got a measuring tape?

Didn't hurt to ask.

[pocketpretzels]

i do yes. what measurements do you need from me?

Good thing he had Steven to assist with that!

[begmetwice]

around your ribcage, up under the arms across the chest, and across the fullest part of your breasts

A pause -- though not a long one -- and a second text came in.

I do assume you woke up with breasts today.

She certainly wasn't judging if he'd just developed an interest lacy things for his day-to-day, and belatedly realized she had been assuming.

[pocketpretzels]

i did, yes.

A few minutes later, some handwavey measurements followed.

[begmetwice]

got it. anything for the Spector-Grant household, while I'm bringing pretty underthings?

[pocketpretzels]

steven says hes alrgith. they did not switch. but he wants to kno if u are well??

Someday he would master that tiny keyboard. SOMEDAY.

[begmetwice]

Texting was an art form!

I am better than well. I am quite handsome, actually. Moustache!

Did you want a selfie of Irene -- in a blue silk La Perla dressing gown that definitely looked more at home on her usual form -- making debonair faces from her kitchen, Watts? You were getting one.

[pocketpretzels]

oh you ARE quite handsome, agreed. What? He was happily in a relationship, but he could make an objective assessment.

He figured it was only fair to send back one of himself in return.

[begmetwice]

and aren't you lovely! those CURLS. and you look quite bitty.

Maybe he wasn't, but he looked it. (Irene, as a fairly petite woman in her normal life, was really enjoying the novelty of being just over six feet tall today.)

[pocketpretzels]

He had curls normally! Though admittedly his hat somewhat flattened them. And the overall length of his hair was much shorter. And yes, speaking of shorter...

at least half a head shorter. its verydisorienting

[begmetwice]

Yes, it was really the length of the curls that was catching Irene's attention. She was, perhaps, a little biased towards brunettes with thick hair.

Ahem.

don't suppose you want to borrow shoes? or clothes, for that matter

But really, Watts, Irene could help with the height a bit, if you were up for a challenge.

[pocketpretzels]

perhaps??? i dont think id care to wear a dress. Though Irene- like most of the modern women he knew here in Fandom- wore plenty of things that weren't dresses, he just wanted to head that one off at the pass, as it were.

[begmetwice]

your loss. they're easy to move in.

Big Dress definitely didn't want you to know that, but it was true. But, really, the bigger issue Irene could foresee for him was --

perhaps a bag to carry. women's clothes tend to be light on pockets.

And obviously he needed a place to store snacks.

[pocketpretzels]

that seems incredibly unfair. a bag would be most useful, then.

Because snacks, yes.

[begmetwice]

pockets spoil the lines of a dress or trousers.

That's right, everyone, Irene Adler was here to actually defend the Anti-Pocket Lobbyists.

I'll get Margo and Amaya on their way and pop over in a bit.

Much though Irene hoped that her guests were enjoying each other, she did not foresee a repeat of yesterday given her own inclinations. (Though! Anything once!)

[pocketpretzels]

much appreciTd

[special_rabbit]

At some point in the day on that Friday, a package would be arriving at Irene's door. Contained within it would be two black boxes: the larger of the two boasting an assortment of chocolates and the much smaller one host to a a small pendant necklace that had been half the reason the shop had oh so handwavily been closed yesterday so someone could work on it in private. The other half was in the other, third box within the original box, to compliment the one item outside of its own box.

It was all deeply embarrassing and the price of the items not handcrafted definitely caused some resolutions to handmake all gifts from here on out, and what was handcrafted was a bit of a rush job after she'd done the math, but there it was, all the same, cloaked in hopefully just enough anonymity for comfort.

[single_man_tear]

So Dean got a message from Navaan after previously sending a Message to her earlier in the day.

So naturally he had to call her back.

"Look. While I appreciate the offer of-" [A very detailed and long list of BDSM gear] "-I'd really appreciate it if you didn't bring it up in public. Though I do want to know if the lube comes in licorice flavor. I don't need three gallons of it because that's a lot."

Wacky Phone Day!

[sailor_meshi]

Senshi barely understood how to use his phone, never mind what all was happening today. But he'd been told it was rude not to respond to messages, so responding he was!

"Dontcha think you should at least know whoever you're threatenin' before you threaten 'em? That just seems like a useful first step."

Always a teachable moment.