"I know," said Amaya, with a softness that turned into a faint huff. "I am a pretty trustworthy person, after all."

But the relief in being able to lean into a bad joke was short lived as the sincerity she just could escape slipped right back in with a sigh.

"But I also know it's more than that," she said. "Because...well, I mean, because of London, and all that, and I...ugh."

There were those knots again, but these ones felt slightly different.

"I'm so bad at all of this stuff!"